posted January 18, 2001 07:26 PM            

Background Information:

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam
(pronounced LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and
is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." Its meaning is
different in intention from the typical Western view of the
penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc., words that
may come from a limited perspective, depending on the
intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the
Lingam is respectfully viewed and honoured, a "Wand of
Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.

The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space
the receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from
his Lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of
facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his
softer, gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as
a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an
excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It is often
used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning
and trauma.

Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it
is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to
massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum
and Sacred Spot (the equivalent to the female G-spot),
and allow the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he
may not be used to. From this perspective both receiver
and giver relax into the massage.

Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional
sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal
oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to
experience his softer, more receptive side and experience
pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

Preparation:

Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and
breathe deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take
you out of your mental process and will get you more
into your feelings. Relax your belly and let go of the
tension that most of us hold there.

Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The
best results occur when the bowels and bladder are
empty.

Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner
through hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each
other's eyes for an extended time), bringing both of you
to a place of relaxation and trust.

Procedure:

Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his
head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a
pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are
to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or
cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals
clearly exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.

Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed
breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs,
chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind
the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into
relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based
lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the
Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles,
taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area.
Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage
the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage
the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus.
Take your time. You are giving a massage to an often
neglected area of the body.

CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.

Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and
pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with
your right hand, pull UP and slide off and then alternate
with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left,
right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the
squeeze at the head of the Lingam/ penis and then sliding
DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left
hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an
orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In
Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that
correspond to other parts of the body. It is said many
ailments can be cured by receiving a good Lingam
Massage.

NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you
perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get
hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard,
then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly
desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing
up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the
pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back
off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming
the massage. Do this several times, coming close to
ejaculation, and then backing off. Remember, the goal is
not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of
ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to
ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep
breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate.
Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make
love as long as you want and you can become
multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm
and ejaculation are two different responses that you can
learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.

Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two
ways to do this.

One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles
and anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a
pea or maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will
feel the pressure deep inside and it may be intensely
painful at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and
softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and
master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam
with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with
your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears
ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in
Taoism.

The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the
anus. Many men, especially heterosexual men, are
uncomfortable at first as a result of negative sexual
conditioning. Be careful here and use lubrication. The
key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is
breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the
anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a
"come here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland.
Vary the pressure and speed of massage. He may want
stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the Sacred
Spot. Back off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm
and increase the pressure on the Sacred Spot.

Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up
during access to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and
remember a traumatic event from his past. You, the
giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to
feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console
or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs to.
Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels
appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have
in that moment.

Ending the Massage:

If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to
breathe deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind,
especially if he has come close and held back at least SIX
times before ejaculating. Holding back six times charges
up the sexual battery with tremendous energy. It is then
his choice as to where he wants to send this energy -- out
with their ejaculate (the prevailing paradigm) or inward
for other uses (men who master ejaculation are able to
channel this energy into other areas of their being).

When he feels complete with the massage gently remove
your hands and allow him to lie there quietly. You may
want to snuggle up together or you can leave the room
and let him drift off into a meditative state. Allow him to
fully experience his childlike innocence and magnificent
male beauty.

Have fun with this technique and share it with your
friends and loved ones.