LETTER WRITTEN TO THE MANAGER OF THE Y.M.C.A HOTEL IN LONDON BY A TOURIST
FROM ITALY AFTER HIS RETURN HOME
Dear Signore Direttore
Now I am tella you story wot I was treated at your hotella
I am comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga christian
man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed-how can I sleep
with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to reception and tella:
"I wanna shit" They tella me: Go to toilet". I say no, I wanta shit in my
bed". They say: You better not shit in your bed, you sonna wa-bitch". What
is sonna wa-bitch ?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and eggs and two
pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and
point on toast: " I wanta piss". She tells me: "GO to toilet" I say "No no
, I wanta piss on the plate". She then say to me: "You'd bloddy wella not
piss on the plate, you sonna -wa-bitch
That is the second person who do not even know me calla 'sonna wa-bitch' ;
and why is your staff replying "Go to toilet" ? Is that a modern tella ? I
do not understand please tell me !
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but
no fock. I tella waitress: " I wanta fock". And she tella me: " Sure
everyone wanta fock" . I tella her. No ,no, you don't understand me , I
wanta fock on the table". She tella me: "So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock
on the table ? Get your arse out of here!"
How comma this christian hotella tella the guest in such bad manner ?
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotella no
more. When I have paid the bill the porter say to me: Thank you and piss on
you". I say, "Piss on you too;you sonna -wa-bitch ". I now go back to Italy.
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more , you SONNA-WA-BITCH