Posted by Mottapala on November 25, 1997 at 20:28:34:


It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss
standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue
when I
whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to

Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately
down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't
help but
grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little
Twix had
the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as
Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream
Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I
knew it
wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her
taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said,
Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces,
don't be a
Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it
your Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She
screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" as I
rammed my
Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was

giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the Starburst!
as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a
in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out
popped...........Baby Ruth!

Back to InfoLanka