Real Programmers (parts 7 and 8)|
Posted by Tunga on November 20, 1997 at 23:47:54:
Part 7 - (Real Programmer at Play)
Genrally, the Real Programmer plays the same way he works - with computers. He is constantly amazed
- At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security
- At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed
- At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand.
- At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine
- In a grocery store, the Real Programmer is the one who insists on running the cans past the laser
What sort of environment does the Real Programmer function best in? This is an important question for
The typical Real Programmer lives in front of a computer terminal. Surrounding this terminal are:
- Listings of all programs the Real Programmer has ever worked on, piled in roughly chronological order on
- Some half-dozen or so partly filled cups of cold coffee. Occasionally, there will be cigarrette butts
- Unless he is very good, there will be copies of the OS JCL manual and the Principles of Operation open
- Taped to the wall is a line-printer Snoopy calendar for the year 1969.
- Strewn about the floor are several wrappers for peanut butter filled cheese bars - the type that are
- Hiding in the top left-hand drawer of the desk is a stash of double-stuff Oreos for special occasions.
- Underneath the Oreos is a flowcharting template, lest there by the previous occupant of the office.
The Real Programmer is capable of working 30, 40 even 50 hours at a stretch, under intense pressure. In
- No Real Programmer works 9 to 5 (unless it's the ones at night).
- Real Programmers don't wear neckties.
- Real Programmers don't wear high-heeled shoes.
- Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch 
- A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII
- Real Programmers don't know how to cook. Grocery stores aren't open at three in the morning. Real