I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!
My kid can beat up your honor student!
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
If you make it idiot proof, someone will just come along and make a better idiot.
He who laughs last takes too long to get the joke
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edukasion
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Ever stop to think...and forget to start again?