Posted by Jumbo on September 23, 1997 at 11:52:21:

Subject: Additional Training

It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
other company in the area.

If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
taking more SHIT, see your supervisor.

Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
the SHIT you can handle.

Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
Intensity Training, tell your supervisor, she he can put you at the top of
the SHIT list.
What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
- Toys for twats.

What is red and has seven dents?
- Snow White's cherry

How can you tell Dolly Parton's kids in a group?
- They are the ones with the stretch marks on their lips

What do you call the sweat between Dolly Parton's tits?
- Mountain Dew

Which of the following doesn't belong--- wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
- Blowjob, because you can beat your wife, your meat, and eggs, but you can't

beat a blowjob.

What od you call a Mexican baptism?
- Bean dip

What the difference between a pervert and a kinky person?
- A pervert uses a feather and a kinky person uses the whole chicken.

What's the definition of endless love?
- Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis

What do gays refer to hemmoroids as?
- Speed bumps

What do you get when you mix holy water with castor oil?
- A religious movement
Two dogs were sitting in a vet's office. The bigger of the dogs gruffs,
"Whatcha doing here?" The little dog responds, "I'm getting 'fixed'.
Whenever I see my master I get so horney I just jump on her leg and
start pumping. It's very embarassing." The first dog says, "Yeah, I
know what you mean. One morning my master had just gotten out of the
shower, and was sitting on the side of the bed. She leaned down to pick
up her clothes from the floor, and I couldn't resist it... I jumped up
and starting taking it from the rear!" The second dog exclaimed, "Wow!
So you're here to be fixed too?"

"Hell no, I'm getting de-clawed."
Q: Why don't blind people skydive?

A: Because it scares the sh*t out of their dogs :)

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