|The Man with no Arms|
Posted by Andare on June 28, 1997 at 10:50:29:
There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.
"What condition does he have?" the student asks.
"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass into a coma."
The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.
"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"
"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets-we're one short."
Guy with no arms went into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him.
The guy says, "As you can see, I have no arms. Would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?"
"Sure," said the bartender, holding the glass while the guy sipped.
"Now," said the guy, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth." and the bartender says, "Reckon so."
Armless guy says, "If you'd reach in my right pants pocket, you'll find the money for the beer." The bartender got the money.
"You've been very kind," said the guy. "Just one thing more--where is the men's room?"
Bartender thinks for a moment, then says, "In the filling station on the next corner, bud."