Posted by Ranjan Gunawardana on 12/15/2006
A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
But a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely
BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
Three FASTEST means of Communication:
Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters
not their friends.
A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best
wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
Let us be generous like this :
Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
If you do NOT have a Girl /Boy Friend - You are
missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH a person TWICE for the same Mistake