An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see ...Can I see your vehicle registration
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Sto! le it?
Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner & got
Officer: You what?
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have
stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Old Lady: Yes, here are the reg! istration papers. The
officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not
have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
purse and hands it to the officer. The officer
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told
me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car,
and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding,too.