1. He said....I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear pants don't you?

2. He said...since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

3. He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

4. He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

5. He said....Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would but you are never there.

6. On a wall in a ladies room...."My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it..."I do not"

7. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to dothe dishes?
Both of them.

8. Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a prostitute.

9. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

10. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions

11. What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being

12. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

13. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them

14. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it's never happened

15. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.

16. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

17. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They are married.