Posted by Dev on April 25, 1997 at 04:11:55:
As we, the technologist are trying real hard to get the product out in smaller and more cost effective form, as what we are doing today. Lets take a look at how the artists do their part in the language...
Having chosen English as the preferred language, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving the efficiency in communications between Government departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committe would suggect using s instead of the soft c. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sites would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard c could be replaced by k sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typwriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome ph would henseforth be written as f. This would make words like fotograf twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent es in the languag is disgraful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing th by z. Perhans zen ze funktion of w kould be taken on by v, vitsh is, after al, half a w. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary o kould be dropd from words kontaining ou. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.