...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love,"
and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

...your friends compliment you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door nearest your car.

...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

...you don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

...when you are cautioned to slow down
by the doctor instead of by the police.

..."getting a little action" means
I don't need to take any fiber today.

..."getting lucky" means you
find your car in the parking lot.

...an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are
five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time
for a guy to get those odds?

Someone has described heaven as a family reunion
that never ends. What could hell possibly be like?
Home videos of the same reunion?