Posted by Anon on February 08, 192002 at 16:13:33

This is a survey of the effects weather has on everyday life.

At 60 degrees above zero:
Floridians shiver uncontrollably.
Buffalo people sunbathe.

At 50 above:
Californians attempt to turn on the heat.
Buffalo people go out to plant their gardens.

At 40 above:
English cars won't start.
Buffalo people roll down their windows.

At 32 above:
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Eerie's water gets thicker.

At 20 above:
Virginians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Buffalo people throw on a sweatshirt.

At 15 above:
New York City landlords finally turn up the heat.
Buffalo people have the last cookout before it gets cold.

At 0 degrees:
People in Miami cease to exist.
Buffalo people lick the flagpole.

At 20 degrees below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Buffalo people get out their winter coats.

At 40 below:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door-to-door.

At 60 below:
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antartica.
Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone their winter survival classes until it's cold enough.

At 80 below:
Mount St. Helens freezes.
Buffalo people run out and rent videos.

At 100 below:
Santa Clause abandons the North Pole.
Buffalo people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

At 297 below:
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

At 460 below:
All atomic motion stops.
Buffalo people begin asking each other, "Cold enough for ya?"

At 500 below:
Hell freezes over.
The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl.

Back to InfoLanka