indian movies
Posted by Green Queen on 9/26/2001:

Assumptions :
* there are only two classes in society. 1) Very rich and
2) very poor. There is no middle class.

* All cities are located near a mountain or at least a hill to
facilitate chasing of cars on dangerous tracks.

Stunt Statistics :
* All heroes have a training in martial arts and driving all
kinds of vehicles (including horses).

* To make hero's task easier, villian chharu's generally approach
him one by one.

* All fights tend to shift towards a place which is stacked with
empty drums.

* If hero is being chased by villian(s) on foot, a bridge should
be very near to the place with either a deep river underneath
a railway line (with a train moving on it).

* Empty wine bottles are always within a hand's reach to be broken and used for assault by the villain.

* No known hero has ever got hit by such a bottle.

* Towards the end of a fight when the hero has almost over-powered the Main villian, the sub-villian always finds the heroine or hero's mother handy to hold her at gunpoint.

* Children and animals are generally found to be useful in such

* Bullet rdden people always live to reveal incomplete identity of their murderer.

* If one car is chasing the other, one of them definately come across a hand-cart containing fruits (generally watermelons).

Story Statistics :

* As a rule of thumb, the hero has either his mother or father
alive (or none of them - never both).

* Young hero with old Amma as his mother is not actually her son
but is the abandoned son of some zamindar or daku or a wealthy

* If two heroes are brothers, one is bound to be a criminal and the other a lawyer or police inspector. Generally the younger one stands a better chance of becoming an educated fellow because the elder one has entered the world of crime to provide for his school/college fees.

* If a boy and girl are shown to meet in childhood, they meet again only after 12 years (mind well only one of them remembers).

* If heroine's parents are going for an arranged marriage, the boy selected, in 90% cases, is the villian.

* All honest factory owners have corrupt managers.

* All building contractors are lusty and have an eye for the heroine or hero's mother.

* Daughters of Village mukhiya's fall in love with people from city/town.

* Hero heroine's generally approach temples at night when there is heavy thunderstorm.

* If a hero is following heroine whose train has just left platform, by every chance, the heroine is standing behind him with her luggage.

* Heroines are generally found mopping floors when their fathers come to meet them in sasural.

* Towards the end of movie, actors come to realize their mistakes made in life in groups of 3-4 ("Nahi Maaji galti meri hi thi ..").

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