The Pretzel Hold
Posted by Bal Vallah on February 19, 1999 at 03:22:49:

Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed
down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now
don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match
because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this
hold! If he does, you're finished!" The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times
looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the
American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in
his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer fromthe crowd, and the trainer raised his eye
just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat
with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and
winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks,
"How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but
at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my
face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out
my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. "You'd be amazed how strong
you get when you bite your own balls!"

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