Blasted Bran Muffins!
Posted by B. Vallah on December 17, 1998 at 20:59:00:

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been
in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with
a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked
Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship
golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the
course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".

Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free." Next they went to the club house and saw the
lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and
you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, shrieking

Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at
his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have
been here ten years ago!"

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