Men's guide to a Woman's language
Posted by Tommy on March 19, 1997 at 19:26:37:

Men's guide to a Woman's language

She says English
--------- -------
You want You want
We need I want
It's your decision The correct decision should be
obvious by now
Do what you want You'll pay for this later
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure...go ahead I don't want you to.
I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You' manly You need a shave and you sweat
a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever think
I'm not emotional! And I'm not I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new house.
I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture,
Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise I noticed you were almost
Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something
How much do you love me? I did something today you're
really not going to
I'll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? [Too late, your dead.]
Yes No

No No
Maybe No
I'm sorry. You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd
better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I
think this is important.

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing. Nothing.
Nothing. Everything.
Everything. My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. It's just that you're such an
I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up
evidence against you.

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