Job Security Quiz
Posted by Bal Vallah on October 02, 1998 at 00:59:17:

Many of us have been there. Something just doesn't click with the new boss. Or maybe we're just
horribly incompetent, or miserably incapable of performing up to standard. Whatever the reason,
sometimes in our lives, we've got to calculate the odds of being canned. Take this quiz and find out
you chances of survival in the job world.

1.The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...
Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his
Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it
on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.

2.There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays
twice as much as your current position. What do you do?
Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of
everyone who's been working with you.
Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50
with him.
Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't have to
work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock."

3.When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?
Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase
full of small, unmarked bills.
Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows,
shouting obscenities.

4.Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?
Listen politely, and then apologize.
Blame someone else.
Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the
word "union."

5.When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...
Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper.
Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering
Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it.

6.Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's fifth birthday party, what do you do?
Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too.
Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-workers into doing it while pretending to be you.
Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the children that Kooky is dead.

7.The boss accuses you of not keeping the office clean; you...
Clean the office while he supervises.
Tell him that you delegated the job, then fire the underling you supposedly gave the
job to.
Clean the office again, but this time, you use your boss' face.


Mostly A's:
You have nothing to worry about. They'll never fire you because you're a
Mostly B's:
You're not just going to keep your job, with your complete disregard for
other peoples feelings, you'll positively shoot up the ladder of success.
Congratulations! You're a real jerk.
Mostly C's:
You are a career kamikaze. The boss would have fired you long ago, but he's
terrified of what you might do.

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