Buzzword Generator
Posted by Bal Vallah on July 08, 1998 at 21:49:34:

So, you have been outdone by people who use buzzwords. Maybe you are trying hard to impress
you boss and colleagues. Or, maybe you are a professor who need some new ideas for a paper.
Whatever your needs, we can help. For $19.99, you can get Buzzword Generator for your field
of work. For example, when you order a Buzzword Generator for Managers, you will receive a
table like this one:

--------------------- --------------------- ----------------
0. integrated 0. management 0. options
1. heuristic 1. organizational 1. flexibility
2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability
3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility
4. functional 4. digital 4. programming
5. responsive 5. logistical 5. scenarios
6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase
7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection
8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware
9. futuristic 9. policy 9. contingency

The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number; then select the corresponding
buzzword from each column. For instance, number 257 produces "systematized logistical
projection", a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with that ring of
decisive knowledgeable authority. No one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking
about, but the important thing is that THEY ARE NOT ABOUT TO ADMIT IT!

So before, your frustration turn into Buzzword Deficiency Syndrome, order one of our
charts. Operators are standing by. Call 1-800-555-BUZZ. If you order now we will include a
set of hand written numbers from 0 to 9 that can be drawn to generate the three digit
number. This is a limited time offer.

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