Bubba Knows Everyone
Posted by Bal Vallah on June 30, 1998 at 00:26:47:

There was a man named Bubba and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the whole world!!! Once when Bubba got a new
job, Bubba says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe
him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Bubba says "Yes I do!" so
Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!" then Bubba says "Pick someone... and I know them!"

Well Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't
know Tom Selleck!" Bubba says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!"
but Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" then Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and
drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Bubba goes
"Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Bubba!" and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss can't
believe it. But then he thinks "Well that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Bubba and
Bubba says "OK, pick somebody else!"

This time Bubba's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know Bill
Clinton!" but Bubba says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Bubba's
boss says "No you weren't!" and Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch up
with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Bubba get's
close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Bubba!" and after the
press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss is stunned-- he can't believe
it. But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows
everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the world
spectrum and I know them!"

And Bubba's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!" and Bubba
says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Bubba's boss says "No he didn't!" and Bubba says "Yes he
did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people.
They work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Bubba says "Boss, we're never gonna
get there together through all these people so I tell you what--I'll work my way up there and when I
do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Bubba's boss waits and
waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and
right there beside him is Bubba!

Shortly afterwards, Bubba comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss!
Wake up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?"
Bubba's boss looks at Bubba and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton... heck, I
can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with Bubba?'
that's a little more than I can take! --"

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