Posted by Abdul Wahid on May 25, 1998 at 02:07:34:

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society..

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when
they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more
likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting
a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming
urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up
spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new

* Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing
new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden
urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking
this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can
be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men
want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other
family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal
gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled
for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating
men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men
in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal
affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test
subjects into"special prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular,
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

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