Posted by kushanEdussuriya on March 23, 1998 at 07:06:01:

This memo is to announce the development of a new
plant-wide software system. We are currently building a data warehouse
that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The program is referred
to as the "Manufacturing Information Access Software System" (MIASS).
Next Monday at 9:00am there will be a meeting in
which I will show MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations
throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to
get a good look at my MIASS.
As for the status of the implementation of the
program, I have not addressed the networking aspects so currently only
one person can be on MIASS at a time. This should change as MIASS
Several people are using the program already and
have come to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into a
subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose
buried in MIASS. I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel
are somewhat afraid of MIASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some
information into the program, I had a secretary say to me, "I'm a little
nervous, I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help
her through her first time and when we were through, she admitted that
it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing
it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she
was ready to kiss MIASS.
I know there are concerns over the virus that was
found in MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say the
virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS. In the future,
however, protection will be required prior to entering MIASS.
We planned this database to encompass all
information associated with business. So as you begin using the program,
feel free to put anythingyou want into MIASS. As MIASS grows larger, we
envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see
a manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in
This program has already demonstrated great
benefit to the company during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After
requesting certain historical data the agency representatives were
amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the
numbers could be retrieved so rapidly our Environmental Manager proudly
stated, "Simple, I just pulled them out of MIASS."

Notice to the reader: I cannot claim this
message as my own. I acquired it off the Adam Sandler Homepage
(www.asandler.com). Check it out! Under "Guest Jokes" there is a funny
golf joke for you golf enthusiasts. Plus, there are computer jokes, etc.
Read the Drinking Games; they are choreographed to TV sitcoms. E

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