The farmer and his pigs
Posted by machan on January 29, 1998 at 03:51:59:

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc . . . After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs
are getting pregnant and calls a veterinarian for help.

The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will
stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to
impregnate the pigs. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back
and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes up and looks at the pigs. Seeing that they are still standing around, he concludes that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them into the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings
them back and goes to bed.

The next morning, he wakes to find the pigs are still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load
them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the
pigs are laying in the mud. "No," she says, "They're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn!"

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