OJ Jokes
Posted by Tunga on January 27, 1998 at 05:43:43:

(Hi guys, I received these jokes from a friend. May be a little outdated but still enjoyable.)

1) When Paula Barbieri signed up for MCI friends and family, what was the first number she gave?
- "911"

2) What was the best selling Halloween Costume the previuos year?
- An O.J. Simpson costume.
Why are stores refusing to carry it?
- They are always returned because the gloves don't fit.

3) Who's the dumbest person in America?
- OJ's next girlfriend!

4) The Florida Orange Growers Association has offered to pay all of OJ's legal bills on one
- He has to change his name to snapple.

5) Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad?
- They knew they could get away with murder.

6) Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12?
- In the fourth grade.

7) What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife?
- At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.

8) It seems that Bob Packwood and O.J. were sharing a bottle of wine and comparing notes
about their recent 'PR problems.' Bob was whining on and on about how his wife was ruined
by "all this women."
- O.J. stared off into the distance, mused a moment, and finally turned to Bob and said
"Why didn't you just kill'em?"

9) Did you hear about OJ's new margerine endorsement?
- I can't believe I'm Not Guilty.

10) Why are Heidi Fleiss, OJ Simpson, Ted Kennedy and Greg Luganus the worst golf team ever
- Because Heidi Hooks, OJ Slices, Kennedy is in the Water and Greg is always in the wrong hole.

11) What's the difference between OJ and Colonel Sanders?
- Colonel Sanders cuts up his chicks before he batters them.

12) Why were some people in L.A. dissapointed by the O.J. verdict?
- They already had new TV sets picked out!

13) Why did OJ back out of NBC's Dateline Interview with Brokaw and Curric?
- He didn't think he can handle two people without the element of surprise.

14) What do the Pittsburgh Steelers and O.J. Simpson have in common?
- They both beat up on the Browns.

15) Did you hear Ex-President Reagan called O.J. upon his return home?
- He asked if O.J. and Nicole could come to dinner.

16) Did you hear that O.J. is moving to Monatana?
- He heard they catch and release cut-throats.

17) What was the last thing O.J. said to Nicole?
- "Your waiter will be right with you."

18) How can you tell if it's the springtime in Idaho?
- You will see Mark Fuhrman planting gloves.

19) Did you know that Ted Kennedy called O.J. after the verdict?
- He said, "You should have drowned her! I didn't even lose my licence."

20) What does O.J. have in common with a box of fireworks?
- They both kill people, but we let them off anyway!

21) What is the slogan of OJ's new limo service?
- We'll get you to the airport with time to kill.

22) Did you hear that Marv Levy has signed O.J. Simpson to a starting position on the Buffalo Bills
without a tryout?
- He knows O.J. could make the final cut.

23) Did you know what OJ whispered to Robert Shapiro after the verdict was read?
- "Just let me grab my hat and gloves and I'll meet you at the door."

24) Its a bad day for sports in Southern California.
- California Angels 0, O.J.Simpson 1.

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